Christmas, a holiday that many of us look forward to every year..a season of celebration, party, joy, preparation, etc.  Everywhere you go, even if you are not in the holiday spirit, the millions of lights, the endless aisles of Christmas trees, ornaments, decorations, among other things really bring you to the reality that it is yet another Christmas season!

Its three days before Christmas, phone rings, its one of my best friends, I open the call, the words I hear: “my brother has been shot”!!  The worst news that can be given.  As it replays in my mind over and over for the next milliseconds…what do you answer to that? It was devastating news!

Today I made it to the hospital, not knowing what to expect… that’s a good question: what do you expect? Going to visit a person in ICU a day after they have been shot numerous times, two days before Christmas.  Indeed, there are no perfect words to describe my feelings when I walked into ICU.  Not only because it was my friends’ brother, but because how full the ICU was…how distraught I was to see so much pain, tears, suffering.  How do you relate to people who are in the midst of their worse nightmare, that you sincerely feel their pain.

Truly, a reality check!!  As I’m walking through the ICU hallway, felt it was endless, I kept looking into the different rooms, seeing expressions on people’s faces that are stamped in my memory forever.  Even spoke with some about their loved ones being on the edge of death. How do you feel?…what to say?…what to think? I walked out of that hospital thinking… Christmas? Celebration? Party? Joy? Nah, not when you close your eyes and all you see is the sadness. And all you think is that while others are fixing lights, celebrating, buying last minutes gifts for loved ones, kids going to bed on Christmas eve awaiting anxiously for Santa to come, waking up desperately to run to the Christmas tree and open gifts; others are simply spending endless nights, mounting guard, standing straight next to a bed that is occupied by a loved one, praying to God, making promises, willing to sacrifice ANYTHING in order to see their loved one walk out of the that ICU.

My heart goes out to those who are going through illnesses but most importantly those family and friends who have to endure the pain of not being able to do anything but simply have await until destiny makes a move.